I Am Not Dead. Paul is Dead.

I will be back. I promise. With vintage lingerie.

For now, follow me on Twitter.

My Real Job is Trying to Kill Me

I have been distracted as of late, and for that, I apologize.

If you’re an L.A. area/SoCal fat and wanna come to our clothing swap, lemme know!!

I promise I will return with more clothing and products and general bitchery.

Oh, and I was recently interviewed for Comicsgirl. You should check it out, Eden runs a lovely operation!

I Would Like to Pretend I’m Still on Vacation, Oooh Look, Pretty!

These are everywhere, but I wanted them to be here too.

They’re beautiful but still presented as an oddity.

I guess any progress is good progress, but this building “plus size models on the cover of vogue” buzz is oddly irking. These shots are a parody of a skinnier campaign, providing the immediate context and contrast (“fat girls can have sultry hair and wear bathing suits too!”)

Needless to say, I’m conflicted, but the pictures are gorgeous.

More here.

Also, kitten heels are coming back.

I love kitten heels because I’m 5’9″ and clumsy. I’m interested to see the knock-offs at Nordstrom come March.

Happy New Year, dolls!

Ta Da! Los Angeles/SoCal Area Swap

I’m back from vacation!

I learned many things, mainly that Lane Bryant can suck it.

Jenn already posted this announcement (if you don’t read her blog you should, she’s rad.)

Behold:

Los Angeles/SoCal Area Fattie Clothing Swap!

We will be donating whatever isn’t swapped to Downtown PRO. It’s a great cause and should be a wonderful day!

So please save the date: February 20th!

I have gobs of fancy things to swap.

We are still working on a location, but once it’s secured I will update immediately.

Enjoy the last remaining moments of the decade!

Well, Duh.

Yo, this is absolute genius:

Barking Dog Shoes

Yes, it’s a blog dedicated to comfortable and cute shoes!

So smart.

Covet of the Moment

Chan Lu Multi Strand Leather Bracelet

Stella McCartney Organza Wrap

Costume National Split Front Ankle Boots

Blast from the Past

My teenagedom has popped up again and I found this:

It’s an interview I did when I was 18 and promoting my comic book.

I have not grown much. I say “like” less and my word choice is better, but Jeebus, I’m the same fucking person I was at 18. Still loud, angry and dating a musician. Scary:

‘It is so self-destructive to do that to yourself, and you don’t get anywhere. Usually, when you are that obsessed with your body, you don’t lose weight anyway. You gain weight. The less obsessed I was with my weight and all of that the more confident I became. It became less, “I hate my hips and my ass” and more “People like me because I’m smart and I’m funny.”‘

Heh.

Also, I apologize for the sequins comment. I DID NOT KNOW THEIR POWER. I’m sorry sequins. I love you!

The Season for Loooving

My best solution for Holiday gift giving during a recession? Make those hard-earned duckets count.

Here are some high impact gifts for under $100.00!

For the Product Whore:

Philosophy Gift of Beautiful Skin $85.00

Philosophy is amazing and this set includes all the heavy hitters.

Philosophy Skincare Basics $31.58

A cheaper, less well stocked version of the above. A great introductory set.

Bare Escentuals RareMinerals Miracle Remedies $35.00

This is perfect for the sensitive skinned product slave on your list!

bareMinerals Sweet Obsessions Eye Color Collection $43.68

Gorgeous, highly pigmented mineral shadows in a host of beautiful colors. Cute box, too.

BeneFit Tinted Love $38.00

The best. BeneTint is the multi-tasking product every make up slut should own.

Urban Decay 24/7 Super Stash $36.00

Just look at all the pretty colors. So preetttty.

Caudalie Spa in a Bag $30.00

Caudalie is very French and very potent.

Rosebud Perfume Co. Lip Balms $16.00

Must have. Bottom line. No excuses.

Thriven Overnight Conditioner $52.00

My best friend. Without Thriven my hair would be a nightmare. The $52 dollar tub should last 5-6 months depending.

The Jewelry Hound:

Amrita Singh Sterling Silver Cocktail Ring $60.00

Everyone should have a gigantic cocktail ring!

Fascinator Comb $38.00

The easiest way to fancy up an outfit.

Tiffany Alphabet Disc Charm $100.00

Classic romance.

From O'Keeffe Necklace $48.00

Why am I not wearing this right now? Seriously?

Cashmerrily Comfy:

Lightwieght Cashmere Wrap $72.99

Affordable luxury.

Webalina Couture Cashmere Fingerless Gloves $35.99

Adorable luxury.

Easy Cashmere Scarf $68.00

Even more affordable luxury.

Easy Cashmere Cap $58.00

Jaunty luxury.

The Always Appreciated:

La Petit Gift Tower $56.00

French chocolate. It is amazing. Trust me on this.

Engraved Silver Plate Purse Mirror $24.95

Useful and special. When given the option to engrave, I always do.

Art Nouveau Diffuser Set $90.00

Beautiful to look at and functional. Perfect.

Natori Shangri-La Robe $98.00

Natori is amazing. This incredibly comfortable robe comes in sizes up to 2x. The 1x offerings are even more staggeringly fantastic.

Blue Diadem Jewelry Box $98.00

A good jewelry box is essential.

Merry Spirits Scarf $88.00

Must have. Right now.

I’m Not Dead, I’m Greedy

Hi Lovelies!

It’s about to be the Holidays, so I thought I would show you a few of my favorite purchases in case you find yourself wanting for a femme/fun gift.

Very Thin Gold Rings

I wear one of these everyday. It never comes off. It’s tiny, elegant and durable. It also looks beautiful on. Available in white, yellow and rose gold. (Personally, I want one in every metal.)

Vintage Luggage

Vintage luggage is always appreciated. Who doesn’t want a fabulous suitcase? Etsy has some great finds.

Antique Engagement Rings

If you’re after something a little pricier with a lot more wow factor, go check out Fay Cullen. Amazing, amazing selection on vintage jewelry (especially Deco and Edwardian.) Vintage jewelry is instantly romantic and precious.

Fuck Off Necklace

I love this necklace. The charm is tiny so your bad mood will only be known to those closest. It’s the perfect thing to wear on a day when stress/annoyance is expected.

Two Five Train Case

LOVE. No really. LOVE. Anytime I leave town this little baby goes with me. It has amazing amounts of room for all your jewelry, lingerie, scarves, etc. I use mine as my make-up safe. It’s perfectly sized and lockable.

Stuffed Unicorn, Yes?

I do not have this. But I WANT this. It’s $1,000, so no. But, maybe one day? Yes?

Radio Silence

I’m sorry I’ve been gone forever.

Halloween nearly killed me. I will be back next week. Promise.

Till then, please enjoy one of my favorite things ever: